it's been great

It all started last Saturday night.

I still had one more test to deal with the next day but as usual, I turned on my computer and logged on MSN. There was a message left by him (trust me, that was a surprise) saying "I'll be up for the next 4 hours". Looked at the clock, there was 2 left. "Shoot, why didn't I log on earlier?!" Messenger showed he had left and I tried without expecting the best. There, he replied!!
We talked. He asked for my phone number.
We logged off.
He called.

When I heard him call me, right away, came the release at heart. I have to say, his voice is the greatest comfort on earth -- well, only when his arms don't count. It calms me down. "I missed your little giggles"..."I want you to choose what you like"... "Don't worry, we'll work it out"... ...
ok, I'll trust you in this.

After the phone call, mom has been asking a lot about him. And she has started to prepare herself for the fact that I may belong to the whole world.
If I am to leave, it'd be so hard for the family. I would never choose to leave thinking about how important I am spiritually to the whole family. I don't want to be selfish, and yet, I love him so much! I'll have to be selfish to either my family or his. Doesn't it suck?!

Anyways, when I don't think about the future choices. I'm as happy as can be.

Currently listening to Coldplay. There, somehow I think, is some kind of laziness in their music as well as their young passion and a little bit of about everything. There's warmth, too. It makes me think of winter afternoon sunshine.

It's wet and cold now. Wish to get warmed up in his arms...

That day shall come~~

I really don't know...

So when the Latino dude asked if I had a boyfriend, adding that I must do since I'm "pretty", I reached out for the heart-shaped photo frame and looked into his eyes...

Still needed to explain so I tried to make it short. "... worked together for theatre a few times ... went to astronomy nights together when we realized that was it... I had to leave shortly after summer came..."

People who don't know me well are telling me to give it up or at least not to be that addicted. "you're very young" "there are a lot of great guys out there" "first lover doesn't usually equal to lifetime soul mate" (hey I'm not his "first lover"), blah blah blah...
I know those are all very nice people and that what they said was true. There's only one thing -- they don't know me!!
Heck, why do I have to be this obstinate anyways?!

Enough for the complaints.

And then I opened the picture album, zoomed in.
I was scared to realize that the face I was looking at was somehow, somewhat... unfamiliar...

WHAT IS GOIN ON?!?!

CEI stress

"I never felt this depressed.

Yes, I have been chosen and invited to attend the CEI conference and now it has come to the step of preparation. I never knew anything about this conference that's been held once a year since... who the heck knows when it started anyways...
I did try to get some information about it but failed. Nobody cares about it? That's a lie 'cause now I do!! Or say, I have to. And that's exactly where my stress comes from. "


What's up there was written about 2 weeks ago.
Now things are getting on the right track I'd say. Or at least everything about the conference seems to be better.
I've tried every search tool to get the info about CEI and the themes are much clearer; We've put our thoughts together and figured out a best topic to work on; I'm getting more sleep than I did last week (sleeping 3-4 hours per day for a whole d### week was undoubtedly terrible)...

But still, this task is TOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!